I have this problem where i look through other peoples photos whether it be on LookBook or on Facebook or Flickr, anywhere really, & i get so jealous. Other peoples talent for taking such amazing photos really blows my mind, since that's what i want to do eventually it's really inspiring. It makes me want to quit what i'm doing & just go get photos. Reminds me i should probably grab my Nikon today before i go out for the weekend. I really need to start doing more things i love. I get too lazy & passive sometimes where i just don't care to get anything done. Anyways, the photos i'm referring to are from a girl I've fanned on LookBook. Her photographs are amazing. The lighting, the settings, the colors, the concepts, i really just love the whole thing. Here's her photography website: Rockie Nolan . Seriously some beautiful photos.
Here are some other photos that have added to my wonderful day today:
Again, i don't have a lot to write about. I'm in more of a thinking/looking/listening mood the last few days. Like listening to this song:
Favorite Outfit of the Day. So cute. I've been Look-Booking all day, looks like Subrina has gotten the best of me. I get way too sucked into that website. Who would have thought looking at examples of bad ass street style for hours on end would be so much fun! But really it is. Still obsessed with Rihanna. It's been stuck in my head all day, i don't mind too much though. That's only the worst when it's a song you really hate. The only downside has been i have to listen to music on headphones at a desk all day so i can jam out like i would really love to. I'm having a moral dilemma of sorts lately. It's not bad, it's just...a very middle of the road situation. I could really go either way on it. Neither decision is really bad per say, but they'll take me to completely different ending places. Which is the biggie, because i don't even know where i want the end situation to end up at this point! You can't really know until you get there right? I don't know, i'm not going to go into this one too much. There are too many details that the internet doesn't need to know about. I want to go thrifting. I want to go thrifting all day. Shopping is all i ever want to do. I don't know why, it seems superficial that it makes me happier than most other activities but i just love when so many different pieces end up coming together to make the greatest outfit and the feeling of new clothes, even new old clothes, is just almost euphoric. Any situation will be thrown to the back of my mind to be dealt with in a calmer more relaxed state of mind once i'm done with my shopping. Talk about therapeutic. I love hearing what other things have the same effect for other people. Music would be a close second for me after shopping, that's probably a pretty common one. The power of music is really just pretty insane. It could drastically change any mood just by switching the band. And how awesome to be a great musician, the notes and songs that you've put together that were so personal to you or carried so much meaning is now meaning so much to someone else, someone you've never & probably won't ever meet, it could make them cry or laugh or think when they need it the most. Your music is their safety, the thing you go to when you need to calm down this very instant, you already know which album you're going to put on. That music is what you need, it comes to mind before you're even able to listen to it, like driving home pissed off about something, you could tell me exactly what you want to listen to once you get home & need to calm down, without a second thought. You just know, you know what you need to listen to, and you know what song & you know for a FACT that it's going to help. Ah music. So Corey Haim died today. He was only 38. So that's pretty sad, half of the Corey's has ended up in the drug abused toilet drain like the stars of yesterday. What's even sadder is that when you hear about a celebrity death, everyone's first thought is drugs. It must have been an overdose, or a suicide. Something that clearly shows how messed up these people were. Does anyone EVER think about that?? Think about where a majority of these stars end up and how they live their lives and whats going on behind closed doors and how depressed they get or sad or worthless and their lives end up filled with drugs or meaningless sex and scandals to stay on top and then it's done in the most disrespectful way, simply fitting with the life you lived. and these are the people that we continue to idolize! It's just that they come and go, but for the most part we drive these people to madness by obsessing with them and following their every move and they get hounded by the press and every minuscule detail of their lives are gone over with a microscope and talked about and they're never good enough, never good enough for the newest trend and their whole lives are just this huge game of Keeping Up With The Joneses. Or apparently now, the Kardashians. (who are a complete joke btw, anyone who exploits their own family for fame that blatantly has no right being that loved at least in my opinion). So anyway, where was i, right, so these people, i mean we know all of these terrible things about them, and how they'll probably end up but still we do it anyway. I mean society just eats these poor people up! We could probably save them the terrible downward spiral if we didnt kiss the ass holes of the rich and famous. What's so special about someone whose job it is to pretend like they're somebody else? But we love it, oooh oh we love it. Or musicians, musicians i understand more, just because of how deeply music really touches people, and yeah films do too, but for the most part there aren't a whole lot of quality films rolling around these days. And even reality star celebrities. Famous for being famous, and no one really knows how that happened in the first place, except that well they have a lot of money so they can afford to LOOK famous before they actually are. Trick people into thinking you're something you're not and eventually they'll just turn you into it. It's pretty sick when you think about it.
When i get stressed my body gets physically exhausted. Everything just aches, all i want to do is just sleep. You don't deal with anything, you rest, maybe get rid of some of that aching, just sleep. Too bad that's not how this is going to work because that's about all i'm good for right now. Is it strange that i'm almost twenty years old & i can't decide for the life of me what i would like to do with this life of mine? My older sister had her life planned since she was 8 years old on a posterboard in our bedroom. Right down to the college she's now graduated from. I can't even get to work on time, for my dad even. My father thinks i'm emotionally eighteen. I disagree, i could see where he comes from though, i mean my dad & i have never really had any intimate conversations or discussesd our view or opinions at length. He's a great man, but when it really comes down to it we don't really know each other too well. I let other peoples opinions really weigh on me, only people whose opinions i really respect i mean, of course. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, i end up second guessing myself all the time. Maybe that's not bad though, if you're constantly questioning your actions at least it's better than not thinking before you do something. So what's the standard for a normal life? What's the timeline? Are there certain ages where i need to have things figured out by, or risk feeling like an immature loser who still hasn't gotten it together? Fuckin' sucks. Okay so yeah i do stupid things like buy clothes with money for bills & smoke weed, and i like to just sit home & watch movies but i don't think that necessarily means ME as a person, that i'm immature. I'm not really naive on the whole, i've had a significant amount of life experience & situations thrown my way. I can handle most situations i'm put into, i can get along with anyone really, i'm able to function with a full time job. I mean i have my shit together for the most part. But then i have a conversation with my dad about how i can't live like this and i need to do something with my life and i'm almost 20!! & i have to wonder to myself, how old is twenty? It's still on the fence, i could be too young or too old at all times. i can't even legally drink yet, but i'm old enough to be an adult. Interesting. I need to think about this more. Also, reminds me of:
Hilarious. Gotta love Dave Chapelle. Although, really on another note, the Elizabeth Smart thing isn't as funny to me since i read this: http://www.fox13now.com/media/acrobat/2009-10/49605279.pdf It's the transcript for Elizabeth Smart's Testimony in court. It's pretty interesting & just really tragic. Actually the joke is still funny, that was a lie. Unfortunate Circumstances.
So my friend Paige finally got a job, what a bum. The funny part is she got a job with the website company we used to work for. Oh man, business promotion. When i wrote my very first blog post is was due to boredom from that job. The first 3 weeks i worked there i did absolutely nothing. That was such a joke, funny to see karma came back around and kicked their sleezy website company in the ass. WOAH. woah, nice, it's almost 2 o clock. I should go give plasma after work but, instead of being proactive about my situation i'll probably just go home & sleep... That's good, that's a great mentality. hahaha wow. Also, I'm obsessed with this song. & the video. & Rihanna. I WISH i could be that bad ass, she's the coolest woman on the face of the earth.
I really don't like "About Me's". I'm always tempted to write a bunch of random facts...then i delete them and add new ones. I change my mind too much to try and figure out which beneficial personal information i should share with the internet so that they can get to know a little more "About Me", so i resign my attempt to actually write one.