When i get stressed my body gets physically exhausted. Everything just aches, all i want to do is just sleep. You don't deal with anything, you rest, maybe get rid of some of that aching, just sleep. Too bad that's not how this is going to work because that's about all i'm good for right now. Is it strange that i'm almost twenty years old & i can't decide for the life of me what i would like to do with this life of mine? My older sister had her life planned since she was 8 years old on a posterboard in our bedroom. Right down to the college she's now graduated from. I can't even get to work on time, for my dad even. My father thinks i'm emotionally eighteen. I disagree, i could see where he comes from though, i mean my dad & i have never really had any intimate conversations or discussesd our view or opinions at length. He's a great man, but when it really comes down to it we don't really know each other too well. I let other peoples opinions really weigh on me, only people whose opinions i really respect i mean, of course. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, i end up second guessing myself all the time. Maybe that's not bad though, if you're constantly questioning your actions at least it's better than not thinking before you do something.
So what's the standard for a normal life? What's the timeline? Are there certain ages where i need to have things figured out by, or risk feeling like an immature loser who still hasn't gotten it together? Fuckin' sucks. Okay so yeah i do stupid things like buy clothes with money for bills & smoke weed, and i like to just sit home & watch movies but i don't think that necessarily means ME as a person, that i'm immature. I'm not really naive on the whole, i've had a significant amount of life experience & situations thrown my way. I can handle most situations i'm put into, i can get along with anyone really, i'm able to function with a full time job. I mean i have my shit together for the most part. But then i have a conversation with my dad about how i can't live like this and i need to do something with my life and i'm almost 20!! & i have to wonder to myself, how old is twenty? It's still on the fence, i could be too young or too old at all times. i can't even legally drink yet, but i'm old enough to be an adult. Interesting. I need to think about this more. Also, reminds me of:
Hilarious. Gotta love Dave Chapelle. Although, really on another note, the Elizabeth Smart thing isn't as funny to me since i read this: http://www.fox13now.com/media/acrobat/2009-10/49605279.pdf
It's the transcript for Elizabeth Smart's Testimony in court. It's pretty interesting & just really tragic. Actually the joke is still funny, that was a lie. Unfortunate Circumstances.
So my friend Paige finally got a job, what a bum. The funny part is she got a job with the website company we used to work for. Oh man, business promotion. When i wrote my very first blog post is was due to boredom from that job. The first 3 weeks i worked there i did absolutely nothing. That was such a joke, funny to see karma came back around and kicked their sleezy website company in the ass. WOAH. woah, nice, it's almost 2 o clock. I should go give plasma after work but, instead of being proactive about my situation i'll probably just go home & sleep... That's good, that's a great mentality. hahaha wow.
Also, I'm obsessed with this song. & the video. & Rihanna. I WISH i could be that bad ass, she's the coolest woman on the face of the earth.
I'm going to think up a plan to get myself out of this stuck-in-a-life-rut mentality. ASAP.